


what the hell would I be without you

by itbelynx



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Confessions, F/F, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, ep93 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22577974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itbelynx/pseuds/itbelynx
Summary: ep93 spoilers, the nein talk about what jester did and it leads to some confession talks
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Beauregard Lionett
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	what the hell would I be without you

**Author's Note:**

> this is mostly a fic for charlie/kimabutch bc i know they've been having a tough time lately

“Jester, what did you do? What did you offer?” Beau did her best not to get angry or upset as the words tumbled their way out of her mouth.  Her mind was whirling in confusion as she tried to wrap her head around what had happened. One moment she was willing to sacrifice everything she had gained and worked for in order to give Nott her life back, and the next Jester was basically pushing them all back out of the swamp and trying to get as far away as possible. They were back in Xhorhas now, too late to go to Essek, so they just sat under their large tree together, contemplating everything. 

“Well, I was offering my hands, and she seemed really interested in that, you know? Because it would make me very sad to miss my hands and it would make things a lot harder to do, you know? So, I asked her if I could have one last cupcake and I split it with her. But, I had put something on the cupcake.”

“What did you put on it?” 

“Do you remember that bag of dust I got from Pumat forever ago?”

“Wait, the Dust of Deliciousness?” Caleb asked, sitting up. He had been fairly quiet throughout the whole journey. 

“Yeah! That’s it! And with the help of that, I cast a spell on her to make her believe that she liked my company so much, she thought it was a fair deal to lift Nott’s curse. And once I saw her lift it, I knew it was time to go.”

“Jester! That’s amazing!” Nott exclaimed. 

“And incredibly risky,” Caleb said, his voice sounding impressed. 

“Yeah, well, you know, I knew she was super smart so we had to leave really quickly. I just hope that because Nott isn’t there physically then she won’t be able to curse you again. I just want you to be who you’re meant to be.” She smiled over at the goblin, who ran over and hugged her. 

“And  _ you _ ,” Jester turned to Beau now, a bit of anger flaring in her eyes. Beau had always hoped to one day see that anger, but she never thought she’d be on the receiving end of it. “What the  _ fuck _ were you thinking? You can’t just leave us. This family has spent how long trying to keep each other alive and together, and you think you can just walk away from us? What the fuck, Beau?”

Beau was a little lost for words. “I just… I wanted to help Nott. I knew this woman needed misery. We’ve all got bits of misery, some more so,” she glanced at Caleb and Yasha, “but it needed to be new and fresh. And.. I’m not gonna get anything better than this, than you guys.”

“Then don’t fucking offer to leave.” Jester was pouting.

“Jessie…”

“No. We lost Molly under circumstances we couldn’t control. We lost Yasha for a while because of brainwashing, another thing we couldn’t control. I was not going to just  _ let _ you walk away, Beau. Not when-” She stopped herself, words halting on her tongue. 

“Not when what? Not when you just saw my shitty dad? Not when you saw my little brother who I had never even met?”

“Not when you don’t know how much I love you!” 

The room was silent. Beau heard her heart in her ears, uncertain if this was real life anymore. She thought maybe she had made the deal and this was now just her dreamscape telling her what she could have had. She blinked for a moment, trying to process. 

“What-?”

“I love you, Beau. I didn’t know what this was, what I was feeling towards you until you started talking about leaving and… I realized I couldn’t lose you. Not after everything we all had been through, and how you’ve always been there for me. I can’t lose you, ever.”

With a speed akin to lightning, Beau was in front of Jester, holding her face in her hands. There were tears running down both faces, accompanied by bright smiles. Beau leaned in and kissed Jester sweetly, both laughing in an exhale afterwards. 

“I love you, too, Jester.” 

They kissed again. Beau thought that kissing Jester was like kissing the clouds. It was soft, and sweet, and unlike anything she had ever experienced. Beau was certain that she never deserved anything as good as Jester, and yet, here she was kissing the girl that she had accidentally fallen for. And she was so happy that she did because nothing was ever going to top this for Beau. As long as Jester was at her side, she could do anything. 


End file.
